What makes me really angry about the world?
Angry? These days there isn’t much that makes me truly angry but I feel the cousins of anger all the time: disappointment, frustration, annoyance.
Like when my car was towed moments after I had paid the outstanding tickets. Or when my landlord accused me of causing damage when I moved out and threatened not to return my deposit. Or when I was verbally attacked by a man outside of a club and the people around me did nothing.
In each of these situations I see something in common. I felt powerless.
Anger and it’s cousins are a byproduct of powerlessness. When my car was towed, I was frustrated because I felt like I had done the right thing by paying my tickets and I was towed anyway (I know, I know, don’t get tickets in the first place! What can I say? I’m human and I’m doing my part to help the state of California out of debt). When my landlord threatened to withhold my deposit, I was annoyed that I was roped into dealing with this bully one more time. When the man outside the club called me a “fucking black bitch” among other things and repeatedly came back to yell in my face and the people around me just stared, I was angry that you couldn’t rely on the kindness of strangers even when it was most needed.
But I’m not powerless and I wasn’t then. After I let these moments of anger fester, I got into action mode. I went to the bank and pulled my transaction records to fight the tow. I found my before photos of the damage and wrote my landlord a strongly worded email outlining tenant rights. I told everyone about what happened to me at the club, wrote about it publicly and urged others to “not be the one who stood by and did nothing”. Then some months later when a girl on a bus was being verbally attacked and I was the stranger standing by, I said something fierce and firm to the man who was harassing her.
Now when I slip into anger, I ask myself, how can I feel heard? How can I make sure my needs are met? Or even how can I be most helpful right now? The ability to help is an under utilized form of power; we can all help someone with something.
When you acknowledge your power there is no reason to feel anger. You are in control of the situation and can influence it’s outcome or at least your reaction to it.
I’m currently reading The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership and this mindset of power is described as moving from the “To Me to the By Me” state, “from living in victim consciousness to living in creator consciousness…Instead of believing that the cause of their experience is outside themselves, they believe that they are the cause of their experience.”
So what makes me really angry about the world?
Seeing people who feel that they are powerlessness. Seeing people who feel that the world is happening to them. You can always take control of you. Seeing yourself as an agent, as a creator of intention is the first step on the path to joy.